Home

Am currently in quite a predicament over where to live. Looking for a 1-bedroom isn't quite as easy as I thought. There appears to be a paucity of available 1BRs- and thisis coupled with the fact that most people looking for a 1BR are either smug-marrieds or sad, old professionals (shouldn't I be in the latter category?). This means that an international student with hardly any references doesn't shape up to be a very good prospective tenant.

Amidst this imminent crisis, I've started thinking about what I want out of a place, where I'd like to call home. I moved out of home about...six years ago. And I've moved every year since. While I think of Melbourne as home, there isn't really a picture in my mind of 'home-home', yknow? And my mum moved out of the house we used to live in, so 'my room' is no longer.

There was this bit in Garden State where Zach Braff's character talked about this:

You know that point in your life when
you realize the house you grew up in...
isn't really
your home anymore.

All of a sudden, even though you have
some place where you put your shit...
that idea of home is gone.
It's like you feel homesick
for a place that doesn't even exist.

He goes on to conclude that home will be the new home you build, the place you set up
settle down in, with your kids and your new family. God, I hope that isn't true.

Moving out this time, I wanted it to be to somewhere I could call home, that I could
decorate as I liked, set up as I liked, my own space. It is proving incredibly
difficult at the moment, and I hate the fact I can't remember the last time I
wasn't living out of a suitcase. Still. I hold on to the idea that sometime in the
near future, I will be curled up on my couch with a book, with my doona wrapped
around me, with Ella Fitzgerald on the stereo, and a box of Chinese takeout on the
table (let's be honest. takeout will be a regular appearance in any future home
of mine).

Currently listening: OK Go "Lately it's been so quiet"
Currently reading: Patrick Suskind "Perfume: The story of a murderer"
Current mood: Nervously optimistic